Leaders Struggle To Be Vulnerable

A few weeks ago I was interviewed by Katherine Fung for a Newsweek story about why politicians rarely admit to a mistake. With the American public focused on the presidential election, she wanted to know why candidates were reluctant to be vulnerable and say they were wrong about something. As I thought about reasons it occurred to me this isn’t just about politicians. Non-political leaders struggle to be vulnerable too.

What Is Vulnerability?

Vulnerability is simply your willingness to admit imperfections. It can be reflected in admitting mistakes, asking others for help, and in apologizing when it is warranted. In other words, it is about taking responsibility for your actions, and holding yourself accountable. Many people struggle to be vulnerable, both inside and outside of work. They fear they will appear weak to others, and they are concerned that admitting to a mistake will subject them to ridicule.

Leaders Struggle to Be Vulnerable

In a work setting, many managers in leadership positions are reluctant to appear vulnerable. This is for two reasons. First, the work environment might not support vulnerability. In many workplaces, people do not feel that it is safe to let their guard down and admit their flaws. In the past they might have been treated harshly, or seen others treated harshly for admitting a mistake. In such organizations, people learn to hide imperfections and avoid being vulnerable.

The other reason has to do with a person’s personality and their natural tendency to avoid being vulnerable. For example, the trait of hostile attribution bias concerns the extent to which an individual believes that others have hostile intentions and are not to be trusted. Such people are likely to avoid vulnerability due to the fear that admitting mistakes will lead to mistreatment by others. For them a safer strategy is to avoid putting themselves out there by admitting they are not perfect.

Vulnerability Is Important for Leaders

Displaying vulnerability to direct reports is an important component of effective leadership. Asking direct reports for assistance when needed, and taking responsibility for one’s actions by admitting mistakes goes a long way to building good working relationships with direct reports. Showing vulnerability to direct reports has a positive impact on their team by improving the team climate. Specific effects include

• Building trust with direct reports. Nothing sends a message that a leader has good intentions than holding themselves accountable in public.
• Improving psychological safety. A foundation for building an effective team is a climate of psychological safety where people feel accepted for who they are and are free to express opinions without being criticized or mistreated. The leader sets the tone, and a willingness to express vulnerability says to everyone that it is safe to share sensitive issues on the team.
• Supporting innovation. Innovation can only exist in an environment of trust where people feel safe to try new things. When a leader displays vulnerability, it sends the message that it is okay to make mistakes. Team members can take risks by trying new things, and if they fail, it is okay to be vulnerable and admit that their innovation didn’t work.
• Reducing Stress. Making mistakes can be stressful, especially if there are consequences such as harm to others or waste of resources. Hiding a mistake can make the situation worse, as the person worries about being found out and being punished. Admitting mistakes and taking responsibility can reduce anxiety, and in most cases, people will be understanding and offer support.
• Making Future Mistakes Less Likely. A team where people are vulnerable is one that can learn from the mistakes of others. A leader can use an error they made as a learning opportunity for the team by leading a discussion of why the error occurred and how it can be avoided in the future.

Many leaders struggle to be vulnerable and hide their flaws due to a fear of seeming weak. Of course, for such leaders, it can be difficult to become vulnerable over night. The best way is for them to start small, and increase vulnerability over time. At first a leader can admit to mistakes that are inconsequential (e.g., forgot to bring a pad to the meeting) or apologize for something that caused little harm and is easily fixed (forgot to include someone in an email chain). Over time, vulnerability will become more comfortable leading to admitting to things that are more consequential. At the end of the day, being vulnerable with a team can enhance working relationships that make managing easier.

Image generated by DALL-E 4.0, Prompt: Image of a manager being vulnerable with a team.

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